GrandDad’s Buddy

My First-Born child also has the honored position of being the First Grandchild for my parents, as well as for my Step-Mom. He loves this distinction! However, my Step-Dad already had 2 grandkids by this time but they live in South Carolina so he only saw them a couple of times annually. He had lotsa fun being GrandDad too. My son never got to know his ‘other’ biological grandparents….the grandfather had been killed by a tornado more than a decade before and the grandmother had been extremely ‘broken’ by this same tornado so she wouldn’t have known him anyway. But since both of my parents had remarried and lived in the same small town, which was approximately 40 miles from where my baby boy and I lived, he still had two sets of grandparents and a set of great-grandparents to dote on him! I had to live in a larger town, near Purdue University, for my travel agency job but every Friday after work we drove to either my Mama’s or my Daddy’s house for the weekend and had a grand time! All of my children have/had special relationships with each grandparent/great-grandparent. For nearly the first couple years of his life, my son turned into his GRANDDAD’S BUDDY. Whenever we were at Mama’s ‘little round house out in the woods‘, every time I’d turn around, my Step-Dad had that baby laying on his tummy watching TV or reading to him or even taking naps with him!

My parents divorced when I was in my early twenties. Don’t ever believe the old adage about divorce hurting the children less if the parents wait until those kids are grown-ups. It’s just not true. My world turned totally upside-down even tho I was in college. I ran away, literally, to finish my college studies as far away from my small Hoosier hometown as I could get. My parents informed me of their decision in July and less than a month later I was attending a small Catholic college in Honolulu. That was as far away as I could get and still be on American soil. After college I returned to Indiana but not to the same small hometown. Instead I moved to the larger town 40 miles away where I could obtain work.

As it turned out, I married an Air Force Officer and we had assignments in Texas, Hawaii, and Florida before my husband decided that he didn’t want to be married anymore. So it was back to this small Hoosier hometown that I took my 3 children and our broken hearts so that we could feel the love of family surrounding and comforting us once again. My parents, even tho married to others, cooperated together to pave the way by finding a suitable house for us to rent and basically made the decisions for me at a time when my distraught mind was unable to function. My Daddy and my brother brought a moving truck to Florida and literally picked us up and got us and took us HOME, while Mama was busily getting things ready in Indiana. I do not even recall registering the kids in school and doctors and many other things that needed to be taken care of so I’m sure that my wonderful parents must have had a hand in taking care of a lot of the things that I didn’t even notice but am totally grateful for. It was a good move and a good idea. Sometimes in life a person has to trust in the wisdom of those who have lived life and already made mistakes because they are able to give advice, should anybody care to listen. My parents are a perfect example of this. I may not have always agreed with them but they wanted what ultimately was best for their grandbabies. Of course I’m sure that it was wonderful for them to be able to finally attend the various schooling and scouting and church functions with their grandkids too that they’d been missing out upon because we lived in other states! They certainly did! It worked out fine.

My Daddy and Step-Mom lived out in the country so that was fun for the kiddies. Daddy enjoyed coming into town and taking the 3 of them, or sometimes each one at a time, to do things or to go places. He even took my boys to his own barber and filled in when my daughter needed him for ‘Daddy Date Night‘. My Step-Mom always knows exactly which foods are the favorites of each family member and makes it a point to prepare everybody’s favorite. She’s kinda like ‘the cheerleader‘ of the grandbabies! Mama and my Step-Dad had moved a couple of blocks from the Elementary School so it was fun for the kids to be able to ask if they could walk to Grandma’s after school a few nights each week, where they knew that she’d have home-baked goodies awaiting! Their Great-Grandparents lived across town near the shopping area and we visited with them a few times weekly. It was a very good 4 years that we lived in that area, having all those grandparents nearby gave my kids the love and stability that had been lacking when we’d been moving around the country going from Air Force base to Air Force base!

For some reason, probably just because he’s the oldest, my Step-Dad seemed to like to teach my first-born kid lotsa stuff. Perhaps it was because he missed his own grandkids, which by now he had 4. Or perhaps it was because he reminded him of his own son at that age….they both are stubborn loveable blondes with really big eyes! My Step-Dad was a ‘tinkerer‘, always fixing or improving something, often to my Mama’s frustration. That’s how my son became his GRANDDAD’S BUDDY….my Stepdad and my boy took apart 3 junk mowers and built 1 mower rather than buying a new one. They built a model airplane and worked on other projects that always kept my Step-Dad busy. I think that sometimes he was just looking for an excuse to ‘borrow’ my kid even tho he said that he wanted to teach him something! My Mama and my Step-Dad also invited my son to watch EVERY Chicago Bulls basketball game on TV at their house, complete with carefully planned favorite snacks. My other two kids showed no interest in sports so this was a special memory for my son. He still watches basketball and is a big fan of the Chicago Bulls. He also has turned out to be a ‘tinkerer‘ too, always finding projects to work on! Yep, that’s my boy! I’m sure that my Step-Dad is watching this young man, GRANDDAD’S BUDDY, from heaven with a twinkle in his eye!

Missing Daddy

I’m sitting home by myself on Father’s Day, just reminiscing and MISSING DADDY. I had the best Daddio possible. I know that lotsa folks say that and I’m happy for them. I’m proud to call myself a ‘Daddy’s Girl’….always have been, always will be….even though 6 years ago my Daddy went to Heaven to live with the Lord and with his own parents.

I can hear a lawnmower outside. I hope that it’s not a father doing the work because this ought to be his special day! It reminds me of times that Daddy and my brother Alan would mow our 2-acre yard. I wasn’t allowed to use the riding lawnmower so I had to do the trimming with the clippers (and get the blisters!) just because of the ONE TIME that I actually did learn to use that mower, I accidentally lost control of the machine and shredded ALL of the bedsheets which were hanging on the clothesline! Oh well, my job took less time plus I got to plant and care for 16 rose bushes that I was very proud of!

I am the firstborn. The photo above is probably my very favorite because it shows the love in Daddy’s eyes so clearly. You see, in my father’s family there just weren’t many girl babies. They were few-and-far-between. Daddy had a bunch of brothers and just 1 sister that he barely remembered because he was 2 when she died. But she did have a son that’s a couple of years older than Daddy so he’s been kinda like another brother to him throughout his lifetime. My only girl cousin, at the time, was nearly 20 years older than me. My parents were sooooo sure that I was going to be a boy that they didn’t even have a name chosen for me! I got named after an actress that was on the cover of that particular week’s TV Guide, Jean Simmons!

Daddy and I didn’t always agree on things, he was stubborn and so am I. But now I see that my stubbornness mostly came from him. He was also wise, although at the time I didn’t usually think so. As time goes by, I find that somewhere along the way my own wisdom has increased with age. Surprisingly, it very much matches that of my father’s so long ago. He had also mellowed in his thinking by the time he was at the age that I am now, and I honestly do think that I am ‘still’ following in his footsteps. Come to think of it, so are my brothers. I reckon that’s what is meant by the word LEGACY! Rather large footprints to fill, but we each have also had our personal small adjustments to make along our own paths too. Daddy’s and Mama’s influences, however!

Whenever I have a problem or am worried about some issue, I often can search the old memory bank and come up with some scenario in the past that fits the situation and can recall how my Daddy handled it. That helps me now. Lotsa folks came to my father for help, whether it be for advice or for financial assistance, and he was willing to lend his guidance or whatever was needed for their particular need. I know that he got that compassion from HIS father, who was probably and quite possibly the KINDEST man that I ever knew. My Grandpa Harry had the largest funeral the town had ever had by that time, and folks regaled me with story after story after story of how he’d helped them during his lifetime even though he knew that he more-than-likely would never be repaid. I also learned that NOT ONE PERSON EVER heard my Grandfather gossip or say an unkind or bad word about anybody. To me, that’s amazing and I wish I could make that claim myself but I know that I fall short. Grandpa and Daddy were the very best male role models that a little girl could have had and I was extremely lucky that they were MINE! When I was young, it was fun to get to ride my bike down to Grandpa’s house to invite him for supper. He lived nearby and ate with us nearly every evening so Grandpa and Daddy were the 2 Heads-of-our-table! That’s the way it was at our house and I loved it!

So today, even though I am MISSING DADDY and Grandpa….I am feeling overwhelmingly blessed! I am fortunate that my Daddy loved me and that I was his first child. After all, I got to know him the longest! I just wish I could have some more hugs. Or better yet, to be able to climb up onto his lap like I did when I was a little girl and rest my head against his shoulder while Mama was in the kitchen and we were awaiting supper….oh my, I can almost smell those delicious aromas of Mama’s cooking now!

Make Lemonade

What’s that old saying? Something about about ‘Make lemonade when life gives you lemons’? I think it goes something like that, however, I can certainly think of several variations of the original version. In my own particular life there are oh-so-many different ones that it’d either make me laugh or cry if I decided to sit down and make a list. Or perhaps I could plant my own mini-orchard outa the assortment of fruits and nuts that my so-called LIFE has tossed at me! I’ve learned, mostly from the time-tested ‘trial-and-error method‘, to make all kinds of things from these fruits and nuts: juices, smoothies, jams, jellies, dried fruits, preserves, muffins and other baked goodies, and nut butters!

Of course, that’s just speaking literally. Lessons and growth make my ‘wisdom‘ increase with each passing year. Remembering my teenage years, I thought that my 50-ish Grandparents were OLD, although absolute gems! I enjoyed spending time with them. The little ‘bursts of knowledge’ that our parents liked to cleverly dole out didn’t quite have the same impact as that of sitting on the porch with Gramma (Mama’s Mother) or fishing off the dock in the early summer mornings at the lake cabin with Grandpa (Daddy’s Dad). Even though both of these grandparents lived quite nearby, I was lucky enough to have them as an almost-daily ‘constant’ in more than half my life. Luckily, my 3 children also got to know their Great-Gramma too until they were young teens; they weren’t fortunate enough to have met their Great-Grandpa (my Grandpa) but surely they will someday.

Now I’m the one that’s 50-ish and I haven’t any grandbabies yet. I very often wonder, since I am now disabled and have only been worsening these past few years, if I will be able to pass on any of MY WISDOM to that next generation!!?!? Like many parents, I usually feel that what advice I offer to my darling children is tolerated, but I soooo long for grandbabies to teach. It seems that when the kiddies are at the ‘tween stage’ throughout the younger teen years is a good time for the grandparents to teach them. Often that is the time that the youngsters aren’t feeling ‘understood’ by their own folks so the grandparents’ house is a good place to visit! I wanna be that REFUGE! But, alas, I feel that by that time for me it will have been too late as my illness has taken control more and more of my mind (IF I’m still here).

When I homeschooled my children throughout Middle School and High School, I had a rule that we’d never start the day on a ‘bad note’ or unhappy in any way! I always always ALWAYS found a way to ‘turn around’ a situation, small or large; hence learning to problem-solve. This was important for me to teach my children and wasn’t necessarily something that they would’ve learned in the regular school system. I wish more schools would do this and I wish more parents would do this. Our children oughta be taught to MAKE LEMONADE whenever they’re given lemons long before they allow their small ‘mole hills’ to grow into mountains!